Raise the Flags of Death

Red was never a color I was very fond of. In fact, it made my blood boil and mouth twist into a snarl. Yet here I was, standing outside my hive admiring my own wretched handy work. Crabdad was pacing frantically back and forth, his voice raised another earsplitting octave when he heard me laugh. “Settle down you crazy fuck. Nothing is going to happen. Well, nothing that I don’t want to happen. Go back inside or you don’t get extra roe cubes for dinner.”

My guardian gave me a fierce look, one that said ‘How dare you treat me like I didn’t raise you?’ Instead of spewing more insults I walked over to him and placed a hand on his smooth cool shell. “Shh, it’s ok dad, I know what I’m doing. Trust me for a bit.” He nodded, not quite happy and shuffled back inside. I didn’t follow him. Instead I climbed up to the roof of my hive and looked out over the neighborhood. There were hives similar to mine, all decorated with banners and flags bearing their symbol and sometimes blood color. My hive had been bare. Which isn’t unusual, a lot of trolls leave their houses clear and sterile.

However the time of hiding was over. I was getting sick of the cowardice of living. I was six whole sweeps old, and the time for the pre-adult examinations were getting closer. Previously when I was younger I would hide during these assessments. Crabdad trashed the hive and we hid deep in the woods until the drones finished and left. My hive was marked for demolition and a new troll and lusus were assigned my lawn-ring. Then we’d emerge from the woods, slaughter the new family and rebuild right where we left off.

This time was different. I was done with running. I was done with everything. My friends had been talking about a program lately. One Aradia described as our salvation. The program takes the form of a game, one which had been excavated from ruins code by code. Sollux was a genius; he was the best goddamn computer freak I knew. Too bad he’d end up dead or used as a battery source for the queen. Every bit of talent he has as a programmer is matched by his skills as a psionic. His fate looked about as bright as mine.

The game was slated for release in fourteen days. I didn’t have fourteen days. Whatever this ‘salvation’ was, I didn’t have the time. My block was designated for cleaning and evaluation before that. The date was always kept a secret, to avoid injured or mutated trolls from jumping ship. Crabdad and I had always been lucky, we would get out weeks before the examinations and stay gone for months. So far no one had caught on. This time I would drag their metal faces down to the ground and force them to look straight at me. My rebellious display should be the catalyst that speeds their discovery of me.

It’s not odd to decorate one’s hive, like I said before. The colors don’t even have to match your blood color. I knew for a fact that Tavros’s hive had blue markings and Aradia used brown, both colors not of their blood. But red? This sick, disgusting, bright red? That’s a marker of death. That’s a marker of someone only whispered about in the lowest of dirty city slums. The mark of the Sufferer is not to be taken lightly. With my cursed symbol and color I was destined for death from the moment I wriggled out of an egg six sweeps ago. There was no way I was going to take up his mantel of peace and love. That fucking disgusting idea of equality was even more dated than the way he was executed. Trolls are fierce and they are proud. I was not going down in a peaceful protest. I was going to fight for my last breath, that I had decided on. The world is never going to change, the times are different, and everything is larger and harder to break out of than ever before. I couldn’t bust out of a jail cell if I tried, so what makes anyone think I’d be willing to break the system that would put me in one?

There was a low buzzing sound that gained in intensity as the seconds dragged by. The drones were completing a preliminary fly by. I stood straight up and produced my sickles. One of them stopped and hovered over my hive. I swear our eyes made contact. My grey irises tinged with mutated red locked onto its silver metallic orbs. There we stood, trapped in a stare down that ended when it simply flew off to examine the next hive. There was no way it wouldn’t be coming back to mine.

I received the notice the next morning. A simple piece of paper, attached to my door with a polished nail. It requested that I show up to a center for processing. I had to clear my name; the accusation was that I harbored a mutated status. I was also ordered to take the red banners down from my hive. My response was to wad up the paper and toss it aside. “If they want me, they can come and fucking get me.”

Word spread fast, faster than I intended. Whispers of my hive, whispers of myself and what I was doing spread all over the city. A few wretched trolls came before me to plead for my life. These pitiful excuses for trolls were the adults that dodged the drones and refused to report for duty. They told me to run while I still could. That their “savior” couldn’t die, not now. I told them all to fuck off and go drown in a bucket. I wasn’t anyone’s savior; I wasn’t anyone’s martyr either.

“KK, aren’t you scared?”

“Sollux, did you really bother to call me just to ask that?”

“It’s a valid question. Even I have heard of what’s happening in your town. And my hive-stem is half way across the continent. You have to be scared shitless.”

I snorted and replied, “Well I’m not. I’m ready. I’m making my stand now.”

Sollux growled on the other line, “You think you’re being smart. You think you’re being a shining example of a big middle finger, pointing directly at Her Majesty. But you’re wrong! You’re being so fucking stupid KK. You’re going to die, and in a sweep no one will remember your name.”

“This call has been terminated by the security division of Alternia.*BEEP**BEEP*BEEP*”

I slammed the phone down and picked up my sickles, determined to get a few good hours of practice in before bed. After only ten minutes my phone rang again. I answered and was greeted by the same lisping asshole that got disconnected moments ago. “Fuck, KK listen to me! I didn’t re-rout this conversation to my emergency server just to have you run off and die!” I waited for him to continue. “Just fucking…jesus KK, don’t do this. You’re only six. You’re not an adult. You can’t take on the drones, it’s suicide!”

“So you suggest hiding in the mud, living off of bugs and rodents again? I’m tired of it Sollux, I’m so fucking done!”

“No, just give me a few more days, KK, I’m almost done with this game. Just give me that one last chance to save us.”

Softly I responded, “It’s just a game Sollux, nothing more. It won’t save us. I suggest you get yourself into hiding; the drones should be in your area next week. I’ll tell Tavros the same.”

“They are going to cut you off KK. Your phone was just the start. Next will be your computer, then your power. We won’t be able to help you if you keep this up.”

“I didn’t ask for your help,” I said as calmly as I could. “Just promise me you’ll stay safe. Since I know you are all a bunch of pansy ass wigglers.” My joking shift in tone didn’t lift the mood quite like I wanted.

“KK…you’re asking us to watch you die.”

“Yeah,” I answered, “I guess I am.”

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later,” If things hadn’t been so tense I would have bet he’d laugh at that. “Sollux?”

“Yeah KK?”

As quietly as I could muster I spoke, “I am scared.” Then I hung up.

He never called back.

As predicted the phone service was cut followed by my internet connection and even cable. When the lights flickered and died I knew the time was near. The next few days were tense and filled with an anxious combination of fear and excitement. I never thought I’d be staring death in the eye, but it seems I was.

The drones came on the fifth day after the power was cut. I waited for them on the roof, Crabdad stood behind me. The lusus straightened himself and stood at full height. He towered over me and even the drones. He made a rattling growl sound deep in his chest and clamped his pincers closed in an aggressive display of protection. My sickles were already out, and my expression was grim. Crabdad charged first, he let out an ear piercing screech and lunged. But before he could reach the metallic monsters I held out my arm stopping him. “Crabdad, not this time. This time let me do it. Run.” My custodian didn’t understand. He growled and clacked at me, motioning for me to escape, for him to fulfill his duties as my protector. “No. Run,” I told him. My voice was low and stern. “Save yourself, get a new charge, one that isn’t fucked up.” Crabdad looked at me; it was another moment where I could see intelligence behind the animalistic monster. He took one step back, two, three, before he waited in the corner. I knew that was as far as he’d go.

My attention was ripped from my lusus and back to the drones in front of me. They were huge, hulking masses of bio mechanics. Their shoulders were spiked, their backs spiked, even their head had horns that jutted out far above even the most well-endowed troll. Their voices imitated life, their words were saturated with static and punctuated with a grinding sound not unlick claws on rock. “Karkat Vantas you have been ordered to report to the nearest sorting center for testing. You have failed to comply. The punishment for avoiding testing is death. Will you give up?”

Briefly, for one brief fucking second I debated running. I thought about jumping from the roof, sliding down the banner and running for the woods. Perhaps I could make it. Maybe, for once in my life my luck would hold out, I’d hide and make my way to a friend’s hive. Maybe I’d live alone in the woods somewhere, eating beasts and drawing on cave walls like Nepeta. Maybe I’d seclude myself and fall into insanity.  Maybe that game really would save us all.

But running wasn’t the option. I lifted my sickles and growled low, lifting a lip to display all my teeth. I raised the red flags of death; there can be no running now. “You can suck my bulge you fucking metallic garbage pails!”

“Then you shall be exterminated here.”

“See if I give a shit!”

Looking back at it, I realized how much of a dumbass past me was, and how much a foolish moron future me would become. If I had known what I know now, I would have run when I had the chance. The drones easily ripped me to pieces. First was my right arm, it was tossed off the roof and landed somewhere with a dull thud. Then a few of my organs were released from my custody. I’m pretty sure I screamed. I’m pretty sure I cried. When my body was tossed the ground the only thing I could think of was ending it myself. My body was numb, pain was blocked by adrenalin. I could see my disgusting red blood leak from my body, carrying my energy with it. It slid down the roof and dripped onto the contrasting green grass of my lawn-ring. There it was sucked up by the greedy earth.

I wanted so badly to get some smart ass last word in. Something that would be remembered in these drone’s programing for sweeps to come. A last reminder of the troll who didn’t roll over and die. But that’s what I ended up doing, I rolled over and died. Like a fucking trained animal. I struggled to lift my sickle to my neck, the blade resting on my throat. I didn’t have the energy to end it myself. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to. One of the drones stepped down and my pitiful life was ended as quickly as it was started.

They killed Crabdad. I should have seen that coming. It wasn’t surprising at all. The crab monster lost it when he saw my lifeless body. The damn thing managed to rip one drone apart before being put down by another. His white shell was painted with his own red blood and the black false blood of the drones. I never did get to thank him. I hope he knew how grateful I was for his protection and company.

There were three days until the game was set to launch.